Swami and Me
>> Thursday, May 28, 2009
I was introduced to Swami by my parents when I was about 7-8 years old. I did not feel what others (friends and relatives)around me felt about Swami. I liked swami instantly and now I love him more than ever. I used to have friends and relatives frequently asking me questions, mostly doubtful questions. " Why are you praying to human ?" "Why is he living in luxury" So many questions that often irritated me. I used to argue and prove my points until I read one of Swami's book asking devotees not to defend swami.
During my daily prayers I often requested to swami that I wish to see him in person some day and my wish finally came true in the 1995. I was 30 years old then. I was nervous , excited, happy, anxious, and had many more mixed feelings when I was on the flight to Bangalore, India. I went with my parents,my younger sister and a few friends. During that time I was actually deep inside fighting a battle with Swami for an incident that happened in my life. Questioning Swami of why did he allow such things to happen to his devotee? I had a small challenge within me ,that if swami really knows that I exist he must look into my eyes when I meet him. I knew that was a lot to ask when there were thousands of people out there to see Swami. How it is possible for Swami to come in front of me and look into my eyes. That was my challenge to Swami to prove that he knew I existed and the bitter situation I experienced.
We reached Bangalore and checked in into our apartments. There were no beds but we bought some blankets and managed on the floor. Swami place was like heaven so beautiful and I could feel the peace and love everywhere. Following is my brief experience in Puttaparthi.
My first encounter with Swami, The first Darshan (sighting of the lord)
Day 1 - Swami came out for darshan at about 4 to 5 pm. I cannot recall the time as it is has been some time now. I could not control the tears rolling down my my cheeks. I was over joyed to see swami. I was not the only one in tears, my younger sister was sobbing. Swami walked pass by and we had a glance of the small built figure. An experience that cannot be put into words. Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 2- My sister mentioned" how nice would it be if we could hear swami's voice".Within a few minutes we were told that swami was giving a short discourse. We heard swami's voice and another friend of us said " now that we have heard swami's voice, how nice if we could listen to swami singing bhajans". True enough after the discourse swami sang " Hari Bajana Bina Sukha Shanthi Nahi". Sobbing started among us, this time even longer and louder. Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 3- If I am not mistaken it was Valentine's day and our group decided to make a Valentine's Day Card for swami. Swami accepted our card from the men group . Swami threw sweets to the devotees seated and I was lucky to grab a few. Still Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 4- The next morning darshan I managed to collect more sweets. In total I collected 10 sweets from swami. Swami did not look into my eyes. I was challenging swami mentally. "Proof to me that Swami knows I am here" I kept whispering to my self. Upset and felt terrible because we were leaving the next day. Evening Darshan was my only hope and swami walked using another path but suddenly turned and took the path where we were seated. Swami walked straight towards us and stood right in front of us and guess what Swami finally did look into my eyes. Such power of loved flowed through my body. I was stunned for a while later . I was more then happy but felt ashamed for challenging the Lord.
During my daily prayers I often requested to swami that I wish to see him in person some day and my wish finally came true in the 1995. I was 30 years old then. I was nervous , excited, happy, anxious, and had many more mixed feelings when I was on the flight to Bangalore, India. I went with my parents,my younger sister and a few friends. During that time I was actually deep inside fighting a battle with Swami for an incident that happened in my life. Questioning Swami of why did he allow such things to happen to his devotee? I had a small challenge within me ,that if swami really knows that I exist he must look into my eyes when I meet him. I knew that was a lot to ask when there were thousands of people out there to see Swami. How it is possible for Swami to come in front of me and look into my eyes. That was my challenge to Swami to prove that he knew I existed and the bitter situation I experienced.
We reached Bangalore and checked in into our apartments. There were no beds but we bought some blankets and managed on the floor. Swami place was like heaven so beautiful and I could feel the peace and love everywhere. Following is my brief experience in Puttaparthi.
My first encounter with Swami, The first Darshan (sighting of the lord)
Day 1 - Swami came out for darshan at about 4 to 5 pm. I cannot recall the time as it is has been some time now. I could not control the tears rolling down my my cheeks. I was over joyed to see swami. I was not the only one in tears, my younger sister was sobbing. Swami walked pass by and we had a glance of the small built figure. An experience that cannot be put into words. Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 2- My sister mentioned" how nice would it be if we could hear swami's voice".Within a few minutes we were told that swami was giving a short discourse. We heard swami's voice and another friend of us said " now that we have heard swami's voice, how nice if we could listen to swami singing bhajans". True enough after the discourse swami sang " Hari Bajana Bina Sukha Shanthi Nahi". Sobbing started among us, this time even longer and louder. Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 3- If I am not mistaken it was Valentine's day and our group decided to make a Valentine's Day Card for swami. Swami accepted our card from the men group . Swami threw sweets to the devotees seated and I was lucky to grab a few. Still Swami did not look into my eyes.
Day 4- The next morning darshan I managed to collect more sweets. In total I collected 10 sweets from swami. Swami did not look into my eyes. I was challenging swami mentally. "Proof to me that Swami knows I am here" I kept whispering to my self. Upset and felt terrible because we were leaving the next day. Evening Darshan was my only hope and swami walked using another path but suddenly turned and took the path where we were seated. Swami walked straight towards us and stood right in front of us and guess what Swami finally did look into my eyes. Such power of loved flowed through my body. I was stunned for a while later . I was more then happy but felt ashamed for challenging the Lord.
Left for home feeling very happy and satisfied. The experience I had is worth more than any wealth that I have now.
True experience By: Selvia Selva Ryan
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